The Best "OUT OF OFFICE" email auto replies

The Best
"Out-Of-Office" E-Mail
Auto-Replies:








1: I am currently out at a job
interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the
position .

2: I'm not really
out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this
automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are
you wouldn't have received anything at all.


4: Sorry to have
missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be
promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread,
worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be
patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was
received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your
message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server
connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer
and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you
return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and
over).

8: Thank you for
your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in
352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for
my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away
to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE
CAKE:

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for
medical reasons.

When I return, please refer to me as '
Loretta

'
instead of 'Steve